Howdy y’all, Skeeter the Texan Ranger here, and I got some
much-needed good news for the American people (you know the ones I mean):
In the wake of the most disastrous misfire of democracy
since 1933 in Germany, there’s been talk of secession in conservative quarters.
Well, now there’s write
of secession! Which is dang good news for any of y’all that can do the reading…
That’s right folks, Skeeter’s got a new book coming out: the
highly-anticipated spiritual successor to 2009’s Lone Stars and Rights for Stripes and, seeing as how you subscribe
to my e-letters, y’all are entitled to a 10 per cent discount on signed first edition copies of If
At First You Don’t Secede (Try, Try
and Buy a Gun) by Skeeter P. Cooter (with foreword by Bubba Crow Jr.).
Buy it, read it, and discover:
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Why Satan is real, but climate change ain’t.
-
How to keep your kids disciplined and
self-reliant in today’s age of namby-pamby child labour laws and universal
public education. Hint: it involves the use of smooth river pebbles and a thick
sock.
-
How, if gay marriage is legalised, the number of
children born to homosexual couples could exceed the number born to
heterosexual couples by 2017!
-
Where Obama was REALLY born – you’ll wish he was a Kenyan after you read this!
-
And most importantly, how we can restore
limited, constitutional government that serves only to seal the border with
Mexico, hunt down terrorists inside and outside the United States, eradicate
homosexuality, control women’s reproductive organs, win a new Cold War with
China and trigger the Second Coming by putting all the world’s Jews in Israel
(whether they want it or not!)
Not since Jesus
finished writing the Bible in 34 AD has such an important book come out of
Texas! You CANNOT afford to miss
this!
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